2010- A year in review

So, I started this blog and made 1 entry and basically left it alone. I don't consider myself a writer, but 2010 was such a significant year, that I feel compelled to write about it.
I won't lie...it started out pretty miserable. My family had fallen into a "rut". My husband and I were strained with finances and every day struggles of life. We were having a hard time adjusting to our new financial situation. My husband had been unemployed from May 2009 until October of 2009. He got a seasonal position which led to a permanent position, however our combined income was much lower. With all these stressors, we felt like negativity had just consumed our lives. I was unhappy and it was affecting my family.

Just when I had started to try and fix one part of my life, my health, I had decided to start training for a 5K and lose weight. I was on the treadmill 3-5x/week and feeling good. I even got the crazy idea of trying out for roller derby. My friend and I bought some skates on a whim, had minimal practice and joined a roller derby clinic to learn some skills. Unfortunately in March of 2010 I broke my ankle. Got a fracture in my fibula and tore the tendons on the inner part of my leg. Needless to say after many expletives out of my mouth (we'll just leave that up to your imagination) on our way to the hospital, I ended up having to get surgery later that week. I was out of work for 13 weeks. Stuck in bed for over a month and didn't walk for 6 weeks. A month after my injury, my husband got into a car accident with my daughter. My husband only sustained minor injury, and my daughter was miraculously perfect. Unfortunately the driver that hit my husband was uninsured and we regrettable found out we had been uninsured for 2 weeks due to an oversight. My husband had been so overwhelmed with taking over all the duties of the household with cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, taking care of me and working, it was just one of those awful things that happened at the wrong time. Needless to say we were put in even more financial strain due to fixing a car that should have been totaled, living on half my salary and mounting bills. During this time, I had become pretty depressed, anxious and had a lot of time to reflect on our lives.

About the time I had returned to work in June, on a whim, my sister in-law invited me to this church "The Crossing" in Elk River. I thought about it, drove home and informed my husband that we had to leave in 5 minutes to make the next service. He had initially declined and was tired, but he relented and we went. We argued the whole way down, partially due to some of the ongoing stress of our lives had put us in a state of constant tension. The ride home was like the floodgates were opened. We cried together and just knew things were going to be better.
That was the day our lives had forever changed. We were broken and needed saving. Jesus had touched our lives and we haven't looked back since. I've always believed in God, but never really led a life that was Christ-like. Something in me just changed and there's no going back. Life has more meaning. I live for Jesus and want others to feel and know what I know, which is still a lifelong process that I am excited to continue on.

Since then I've confronted years of hurt, depression and anxiety of past and present. I'm healing from within and couldn't do it without being saved by accepting Jesus as my personal savior. I am happy to say I was re-born, baptized on 12-12-10. My family and marriage is better and happier. I can't say that believing in Jesus made all the troubles go away. But my faith and hope have been restored and know that I am better with him than without. He is bigger than I could be and learning to lean into him when I need some help. I even feel like I enjoy my job more, whereas before I was dragging and performing less than what I could have been.

Another thing I've been doing is doing a daily devotional of reading the bible. Who knew! I think when your heart is closed, you are not open to understanding or even desiring to know God's word. But since I opened my heart, I crave and want to read it. It sustains me and gives me wisdom on how to live my life. Life isn't perfect, but it's better. So with this new life, I've been purging things. Who knew that clutter and "objects" in your house could drag you down? We've donated more last year than we have ever in our lives and we're at the lowest financial point in our lives, but it gives us joy.

So what turned out to be a really low point in our lives, ended up being the thing that was needed to guide us to where we needed to be. I used to say "Why me?", but now I tell people breaking my ankle was a blessing. It took a broken bone to wake me up and open my eyes. I've had opportunities in life where I could have turned to God, even when my sister took her own life in 2002. Life doesn't happen on our time, but on God's time. This was our time. It only took me 31 years!

More to come. I look forward to 2011 and the possibilities!

"All things are possible for one who believes." Mark 9:23
"He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds." Psalm 147:3